On Forgiveness { 70 X 7 }

 Forgiveness is a topic that has been on my heart. Sometimes when going through a tough struggle that requires forgiveness, it can be a painful thing to talk about. If the offense has cut a deep wound, then the process of forgiving can be a long, hard - yet freeing - journey as our emotions try to catch up with our head.

Before we can forgive others, we must embrace God's forgiveness of our weaknesses and our sins.  

The ability to forgive begins by recognizing that the Lord Jesus Christ forgave us first.  

- Grown Up Girlfriends 

There was a time in my life where the current level of forgiveness that I knew how to give was not enough. I thought I could truly forgive and truly forget, but my heart was not following my words. I would catch myself having angry and bitter thoughts towards the person I had supposedly forgiven. So, I would have to pray...a lot! I am learning to pray for the people who hurt me. My momma always told me that "hurting people, hurt people." We can't change what has happened, so how we choose to think about the offense and the offender determines how soon we can move on and the level of joy we can possess.   Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, {ESV}   Luke 6:27-30

To you who are ready for the truth, I say this: Love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer for that person. If someone slaps you in the face, stand there and take it. If someone grabs your shirt, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. {The Message}

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Philippians 4:8

Sometimes forgiveness is scary & overwhelming. It means letting go of bitterness and anger. ..which, although these are wrong feelings to have towards someone {especially if you are a believer!}, they are strangely familiar and comfortable...and energizing! Yet, they are also the main cause for anxiety and depression! What would giving that up feel like? Is it worth it?

  Holding hatred and bitterness in my heart just makes me an ugly person...it does zero good. Zilch. {And bitter people age faster :}. Getting "even" with that person just puts me on their level...a place I would rather not be! So, what is the answer? Prayer!!    So, how can we pray? 

Ask God to help you see the good in the person. Pick a Bible passage {like the ones mentioned above} and pray through it. Ask God to help you feel compassion for their soul and their unseen hurts. Empathy. Search your heart to discover what you need to change. {Psalm 139:23} Pray for healing. Give your burden to Christ...let Him carry your load. Know that only God knows their heart and intentions...ask God to help you not judge! Leave that to Him.

The hardest people to forgive are the ones who never sincerely ask for forgiveness...who never apologize. So, forgiveness cannot always be about reconciliation...because that requires both parties seeking to forgive, change, & rebuild trust. Maybe you had a physically/mentally/sexually abusive parent. Maybe your spouse is inconsiderate of your feelings. Maybe your friend betrayed you. Maybe a teacher humiliated you. Whatever it is, forgiving that person is the only thing that will free you from your guilt and bitterness...regardless of whether or not they choose to reciprocate. Maybe you don't even know why you are bruised and broken...discover who needs your forgiveness. Maybe you are that hurt person that is hurting people. Forgive. Ask for forgiveness.     Forgiveness is sometimes a daily...a moment by moment choice to not remember the injustice. I have a few verses that I try to consciously think on whenever I want to dwell on my pain {Philippians 4:8}. Many times I have wondered if I could ever truly forgive, but then I remember what Christ did for me...and I know that by His grace, I too can forgive my enemies. God has promised me a never-ending supply of grace. If I say that I cannot forgive my enemies, then I am in essence saying that God is not enough. He may only supply the grace I need for today, but that is enough. I can truly be thankful for the circumstances that God has allowed in my life because I know that it happened for a reason. God sometimes brings people into our life to show us who He doesn't want us to become like.
I am so excited for the future that God has in store for me and Jeff. I would have said that in the past as well, but now I really mean it. I had anchors that were weighing me down. These anchors had chains of rotten attitudes, selfishness, pity, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc that were so secured that they kept me from sailing through life's waters. Those rusty anchors are being hoisted, friends. It's slow and painful, but momentum is gathering. Now when the salty air fills my sails, I can move on. Inward victories must occur before outward victories.    Below is a short video by Tenth Avenue North that gives a new perspective on Gods's forgiveness. They also came out with a new album this summer called "the Struggle" that spoke to my heart right when I needed it. I especially like the song "Losing."
  Grown Up Girlfriends by Erin Smalley & Carrie Oliver has been a huge encouragement to me over the last few months. It is a must read if, 1) you are a girl and, 2) if you have or want friends. There is a chapter or two on forgiveness and it is fantastic.   I am also subscribed to (in)courage emails. I can't tell you how many times I've opened my email and found the perfect thing I needed to hear that day.   **If you are struggling in this area of forgiveness, don't be afraid to find a mentor or a counselor. Some things are are too big for us to work through by ourselves or with a peer.   {connect with Emily here}

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